Kumar, A muser !!!

Sivaji: Review

2007-06-15T10:31:00.000-04:00

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwThe Emperor Strikes Back!

Despite being a hard-core Rajni fan, I am trying my best to give you an objective review.

First things first, this movie is a gift for hard core Rajni fans: dollops of humour(tons of nakkal), oodles of style, well choreographed stunt scenes and the magnetic on-screen persona that truly reminds you of the effervescence of a Billa-Ranga-Baasha-Rajni. But what it doesn't have is a story, and that's probably the weakest link in a "could-have been" very strong chain.

Sivaji is probably the first Tamil movie that has kicked up quite a frenzy in the national media. I have never ever seen a Tamil movie-release being mentioned ahead of the presidential candidate on the headlines of every major news network. The Indian media devotes time to news items with a good "stickiness" quotient in order to cash in on all those eye balls that are either hungrily waiting to lap up thalaivar or itching to make that smart-ass comment. And, only Brand Rajni allows you to do that. I am in no way slighting the A-list of technicians, director, music director and producer who have joined hands with Rajni, but I guess in the end the one person who can sustain your interest is Rajni. I think a creatively bankrupt Shankar realized this quite early into his beaten to death script of cleansing the Indian system. Although, credit is due for amplifying thalaivar's "Style" quotient to never-seen-before levels. Rajni, despite his age and the constant doubts of whether he can do it again, delivers, correction, delivers BIG TIME.

The S-U-P-E-R-S-T-A-R - R-A-J-N-I lettering appears on the screen with a new and improved BGM track from A.R. Rehman, which I thought was pretty cool. Sivaji doesn't have the characteristic "cracker" opening that you expect from a Rajni-film. It's pretty sedate where a masked Rajni is brought to the central prison. I think Shankar was trying to build-up the viewers expectation and make him anticipate how the man behind the mask is going to look like since his last release. You know, like unveiling a work of art. But, I must say that it falls flat. An understated opening is not Rajni's style and thankfully that’s the only mistake that Shankar has done while showcasing Rajni for his millions of fans. So what has made thalaivar to land in prison? That constitutes the next 140 minutes of the film.

Sivaji (Rajni), a green card holder and a software systems architect in the United States returns to Chennai to invest his savings of 200 crores for the last 20 odd years to build a foundation that provides free education and medical facilities. He is ably assisted by his young Amma-Thambi (when conventionally addressed thaimaman) Vivek. Vivek also takes the additional responsibility of getting Rajni hooked up with a girl of Rajni's tastes, surprise- surprise, a good tamil ponnu! The first half is quite mundane where the story goes through the motions. And, you know what, its like football!

First pass – Rajni and Vivek play the comic-duo act while wooing an irresistable Shriya (she has set the screen on fire in the song sequences) who works as a sales girl in a music shop. The comedy is really good when its just Rajni and Vivek, but it gets rather staid when its ensemble. Especially the sequence with Solomon Pappiah and patti mandram-fame Raja who plays Sivaji's dad. Ballelakka is quite average, nothing to write home about. Rajni's dance movements in the songs are straight out of an aerobics class. Thotta Tharani and Shankar have the Andan Kaaka hangover from Anniyan. But he more than makes up for it with the "style" song. It is shot well and I thought that will be the highlight of the film until I saw athiradee in the second half. *pure dynamite* Ok, no more digressing, back to the first half.

Second Pass – Rajni bribing all the politicians and removing all the obstacles that comes his way to build the foundation; Rajni getting shocked with the rampant corruption in the system and so on and so forth. The bar scene where M.S Bhaskar, Vivek and Rajni meet to discuss 'business' is quite funny. There is this fight sequence in the music shop where I guess the motive was to use music instruments as props and communicate subtle humor ala Jackie Chan. Bad Idea!

Third Pass – Rajni's mini showdowns with Adhiseshan (Suman) a greedy educationist who wants to stop Rajni at any cost even if it requires him to change the government 'just-like-that'. Suman is suave as the villain but I don't think he can hold a candle to Ramyakrishnan (Padayappa) or Sathyaraj (Mr. Bharath).

So the scenes in the first half unfolds just like a football match. First pass- second pass-third pass, Goal? Nope! It clearly misses the mark. Shankar is not able to present it cohesively. There are not many punch dialogues, although Vivek gets a to mouth cheeky one-liners (especially his take on the young wannabe superstar heroes). It works in parts mainly because of the comedy but does not flow seamlessly like it ought to considering the fact that Shankar is the director.

At the end of the first half Rajni is broke and is brought to the streets. Adhiseshan mocks him and encourges thalaivar to take-up begging as a profession by donating him a one rupee coin (gets the desired effect, fans start booing the villain *chuckle*, only Rajni can make people so involved). Rajni tosses the coin in the air, if its heads he is going to unleash the lion in him (singha vazhi) and if its tails poo vazhi. No prizes for guessing, singha vazhi it is! And at this point you get to hear the punch dialogue "summa adhuridhila" which you would have seen on the trailers. So that sets up the second half, how does thalaivar turn around the tables?

During the interval, I was a little worried. I was cursing Shankar and felt that Rajni should have said yes to Mudhalvan. Lot of thoughts were running through my head. The scenes before interval certainly upped the ante but it still was pretty uninspiring. Could this go the Baba-way? With a heavy heart I settled back into the seat readying myself for the worst and praying for the best.

The second half is far-fetched, illogical and one-dimensional. And that dimension is Rajni who is smoking hot. He oozes charisma in every single frame that he keeps you yearning for more. Shankar has gone over-the-top by coming up with some ridiculous and impractical ideas to cleanse the system. The issue he wants to tackle here is unaccounted black money and how it can help India to transform into a model state. Shankar, please, you are no Manmohan Singh or P. Chidambaram to dabble into "Black-Economy" for a whole 90 minutes and present your master-thesis in setting things right. Stop dumbing-down issues that are beyond you to make it palatable to the masses. Phew! Now with that said lets get back to Thalaivar. Rajni and Vivek are on a mission to bring out all the black money in the country. How they do it? Don't ask they somehow do it. Their plan is to get a 50 percent share of all the black money that bigwigs haven't disclosed. They adopt Shankar's ingenious method of converting black money to white and pump it back into their "Sivaji-Foundation" project. So all the duped politicians and other biggies including Adi seek revenge. They somehow seize Rajni's laptop that contains his financial transactions and put him in prison. Post-which there is a silly twist in the climax, which will make the purists wince. But what it does is extend the climax and bring the uber-cool mottai Rajni to the silver screen. I think Shankar saw what the lakka lakka mouthing king-Rajni could do to Chandramukhi. So he has aped the concept to heighten the tempo of the film. It works well especially the matrix style stunt scenes with mottai-boss Rajni in the climax. Rajni's mogambo-like mottai getup will make the ticket price worth it. Don't dismiss this as a fan-boy observation. This is something that needs to be seen, to be believed.

The things that work in the second half are plenty. The bajji-kadai scene where Rajni offers Adi a bajji is coool. Rajni makes a new style statement by flipping the one rupee coin sideways. The action sequence with Adi's men in the godown is brilliant. Adi's men lecture Rajni about the perils of coming solo into the villain's den. And Rajni's repartee brings the house down, " Panni-nga dhaan kootama varum *pause- dishum dishum* , Singham single-aaa dhaan varum." Rajni also does an impersonation of MGR, Sivaji and Kamal songs which is rip-roaring. Rajni imitating somebody, hmmmm he doesn't do that very often, and so it was quite novel and enticing. The picturization of the songs in the second half are brilliant. Thotta Tharani should be commended for the sets of the Sahana Pookal song. Recreating a glass model of the louvre and a spherical dome, with a desert on one side of the glass panel and a waterfall on the other is no mean feat. And the song Adhiradee is a visual treat, I think this is something that will be talked about for ages. So, like muqabla from kaadhalan, Shankar packages a mini-movie in this 4 and a half-minute song that keeps your adrenaline pumping. Bravo!

Well, net-net, I know the story is pretty lame. But who gives a flying duck for logic in a Rajni movie. I thought Shankar might for a change, but he hasn't. So its one scoop less in what could have ideally been triple scoop chocolate sundae with a cherry on the top. Anyway its summer and I am thrilled that I got my ice cream!

Mere Sapno Ki Rani Kab Aayegi Thu- Part 3

2007-01-21T12:52:00.000-05:00

This is the third part to a story that I started sometime last year. I think I have apologized enough for my inaction all these days :). Many of you would not even remember the first 2 parts, so here are the links to them, part 1 & part 2

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Appan put the stand on his Hercules and was walking towards the door when he heard the gate violently creak open. A livid Appan turned around to see the postman’s son precariously perched on his dad’s cycle gasping for breath. Appan had told the boy a million times to not open the gate door by banging his cycle into it, but, to no avail.

Postman's Son: “Anna! You got a trunk call from Madras, come to the post office”

Appan: “I will be there in a minute!”

Chandru usually had the habit of calling up Appan at unearthly hours. It was easy for him as he had a phone at his home. Appan on the other hand, had to embark on a 15 minute journey to the postman’s house (which also doubled up as the post office) to receive the call. Moreover, the postman usually gave Appan cold stares. And, quite rightly so, no self respecting government employee receives calls for others at 10 in the night. But, anyway the frown usually turned into a smile when Appan gave him the customary 1 rupee at the end of the call.

However, on this occasion Appan didn’t mind the late call from Chandru. Appan walked into the post office and sat on the chair next to the phone. The normally agitated postman looked excitedly towards the phone and told him that the call was from a lady who identified herself as Visalakshi. Appan found that strange, because it was the first time Chandru’s wife was calling him. It definitely must be something important he thought. The postman pulled up another chair and sat opposite to Appan.

Postman: “Love-aa?”

Appan: "WHAT???"

The postman’s eye brows arched and he looked at the phone questioningly. Appan, understood that look, and then realized why the agitation gave way to excitement. This occurrence really had the potential to be a major talking point in the 36 houses that dotted the village tomorrow. He still vividly remembered the animated discussions and heated arguments in the village surrounding the mating of the milk man's dog with the temple priest's dog. Though the issue eventually got resolved in the panchayat, the rumour mills in the village went so overboard that the two factions resorted in spreading wild rumours about their personal lives. Appan found it particulary amusing when the holy priest accused the milkman of being too pre-occupied with the grocer's wife that he forgot to tie-up his dog. Anyway, Appan knew that he had to stamp out the issue then and there before it reached monstorous proportions. Just as Appan wanted to clear the air, the phone rang.

Appan (alarmed look, on seeing the Postman still sitting in front of him with a wicked smile): “Hello, Appan here.”

Visalakshi: “Hello Thambi, how are you?”

Appan: “ I am fine! How is Chandru?”

Appan (covers the receiver, and looks angrily at the postman who was still sitting in front of him): “ Chandru is her husband, she is married for God’s sake, can I have some privacy please!”

Visalakshi: “He is busy as always.”

Postman (with a sly look on his face, gets up from the chair): “Oh she is married, interesting, then you need all the privacy in the world!”

Appan (red-faced, removing his hand from the receiver): “So, ANNI (stressing on the word and searching for the postman who by then left the room), what’s the matter? “

Visalakshi (Surprised on being addressed Anni, that was a first!): “Oh nothing!”

Appan: “Nothing??”

Appan looked skywards and was thinking of the tales of his lecherous pursuits that will be doing the rounds in the village for a long time to come for a nothing-phone call.

Visalakshi: “Uh, actually, will it be possible for you to come to Madras tomorrow?”

Appan: “Is there any occasion?”

Visalakshi: “Yeah, sort of, Kathiresan chettiar’s daughter is a distant cousin of mine.”

Appan (in rapt attention): “Oh!”

Visalakshi: “I am sure you are aware of your impending engagement”

Appan: “Yeah I got to know about it today.”

Visalakshi: “Do you know her name?”

Appan (sheepishly): “Uh, actually no, that would have been my next question.”

Visalakshi: “You see that’s the problem. We are still old fashioned.”

Appan was waiting expectantly to hear the name…

Visalakshi: “You both are young and I thought it was important that you people get to know each other a little more before the engagement. By the way, let me tell you she is a really smart and talented girl. She can sing really well. She also paints. In fact she recently stood second in the singing competition organized by the Rotary club of Karaikudi.”

Visalakshi: “So, she is in Madras tomorrow visiting her uncle and maybe you can take her out to the Kabaleeshwarar temple. By the way, they have painted the temple you know, very tastefuly done actually.”

Appan(ears trained hard at the receiver to catch that name): “I will be there tomorrow, so what did you say her name was?”

Visalakshi (laughing): “Oh I am sorry! Silly me, I always have this habit…. “

Appan (irritated): “The name please?”

Visalakshi: “Valliammai.”

Appan: “Hmmm Valliammai”

Visalakshi: “Yeah Valliammai, so come to our house directly once you get down from the bus tomorrow thambi.”

Appan couldn't believe his luck, he was actually going to get a chance to talk to the girl he was going to get engaged to before the engagement. Through this one single act Chandru's wife has liberated the chettiar community from the time-warp that it was stuck to. She epitomized the progressive broad-mindedness of the Chettiar woman of the seventies. A smiling Appan placed the receiver and turned around to face the postman. The postman gave Appan an ugly leer.

Appan (raising his voice): “It's not what you are thinking, she is my Anni, didn’t you overhear the conversation!”

Postman (with an offended look): “Me, Overhear! Chi chi chi….moreover, you needed the privacy!”

Appan (taking out a 1 rupee coin from his pocket): “Oh please! I am going to get engaged next month to a girl called Valliammai”

Postman (shocked): “Oh the poor thing! Does Valliammai know about this?”

Appan (stuffing the 1 rupee coin in the postman’s pocket): “That’s it! I don’t have to explain all this to you .”

Postman: “You don’t have to pay me sir, your secret is safe with me, not a word I promise!”

Appan (livid): “What secret? This is the usual....Ah, nevermind !”

Appan looked at his watch, it was 10:20. He could probably make the 11 o’clock bus to Madras. Appan walked hurriedly out of the postman’s house.

Postman (walking into his bedroom): “Hey Santha, do you want to know something interesting!”

Santha (postman’s wife who is half asleep): “What could possibly be interesting in the middle of the night?”

Postman: “You know our engineer Appan na…but promise me you will not tell anyone else!”

To be continued...(two more parts)

Another apology

2006-09-12T23:25:00.000-04:00

Firstly, I apologize for my long absence. A combination of factors prevented me from polluting the world wide web with my thoughts. The factors being

1. Relocating to a new city, Hyderabad
2. New job, where lazy me has to cope up with hyper-active boss (yeah I know a very unhealthy combination that shows strong symptoms of a bad appraisal :) )
3. Not having an internet connection at home

A lot of things to write about, more importantly, a story to complete. Please keep visiting this space :)

Lionel Missy

2006-06-30T00:17:00.000-04:00

I (Ram) was watching the highlights of the Argentina versus Serbia group match with a school friend of mine.

Friend: "Oh look there is Aimar"

I was surprised because not many Indian women take interest in Argentina let alone Argentine football and let "one-more" alone Pablo Aimar. I was also surprised because the closest my friend ever got to a ball was bringing the "globe" from the staff-room to our geography class.

The commentators got super excited when Argentina scored the second goal of the match in what was eventually going to be a 6-0 rout. And they very well ought to because that goal was a result of 24 sublime passes. It was a treat for someone like me who has supported Diego's Argentina since Italia'90. So I naturally did a celebratory jig, however, I was once again surprised because my friend wore a disinterested look on her face.

Ram: "What's the matter?"

Friend: "Ah nothing!"

Ram: "NOTHING! What do you mean nothing ? That will probably remain the greatest goal to be scored in this Cup."

Friend (seeing if the shade of the nail polish on her left thumbnail matched the right thumbnail):"Is this one a little darker? Elle's light pink is a lot darker than Lakme's."

Ram(preventing myself from killing her): "You didn't answer my question!!!"

Friend:"Oh the goal, yeah it was good"

Ram: "Good... thats it!!!Good....what do you know about football?"

Friend: "Oh shut up! Don't you dare make any sexist comments.I know my football. Heck, you know what, in the seven-a-side college team, I was left back."

People sure change for the better when I don't see them for a couple of years. I mean, not that I am bad influence or anything but from the globe to a football, damn! She played for her bloody college while I..uh...well...all I had to show was a pot belly and a worn out couch. But there wasn't much I could do anyway. I was simply not cut out for Football or cricket or basketball or kho kho or tennikoit. Although I was an expert at analyzing the finer aspects of the game like the players, clubs, transfers, substitutions, angle of free kicks, hairstyles, weight of the ball and the grass on the pitch. During my school days I actually thought I was probably a little too you young to emulate the Romario's, Becker's and the McGrath's. And, now seeing the Messi's, Nadal's and Pathan's I think I realize I am a little too old to do something about my deficiencies.

Friend(determined to stay on topic): "Did you ever play football?"

I was jolted out of my reverie. It was as if she read my mind and moreover she looked menacing. I wasn't very good at differentiating hues of pink but my colour coding capabilities were good enough to notice that the lady's face was a flaring-bright red. It was better if I put an end to the issue now before she asked me any disconcerting questions of her own.

Ram(trying to change topics): " Uh...hey...you know what...my sister uses Revlon...just the right shade of pink, it would even match your lipstick...do you wanna try?"

Friend: "You didn't answer my question."

Ram(cornered look):"Uh...yeah, I play..I used to play"

Friend: "Never saw you play in school"

Ram (a little scared): "I played with the guys in the colony"

Friend: "Oh so you never played for our school"

I needed to do something fast and thats when I used a trick that I unconsciously picked up from the males of the Pillai family. It was as though my forefathers were talking to me like the voice from heaven in B.R Chopra's Mahabarata: "Son! Whenever the woman is on the offensive, you make her realize that you are the man of the house and you do not like to get talked down to. Fear not my child, stand your ground!"

Ram: "You made your point Pinkie, I didn't play for the school or the university or the district or the state or the country, but I know to appreciate good goals"

I didn't know if that worked but Miss Pinkie reverted her attention back to her finger nails. Both of us were quiet while Argentina scored 3 more goals and peace prevailed until Lionel Messi scored the 6th goal in the 88th minute of the game. Miss Pinkie jumped with joy

Friend: "Now thats a goal...what a player, he is so cute"

Ram: "What!!! It was a good goal alright and if not for Tevez's pass it would have never been a goal"

Friend: "Tevez looks like crap and so does that baldie who scored the greatest goal of the world cup!"

Ram(sneering):"This isn't fancy dress competition and his name is Cambiasso, hey wait a minute..."

Friend: "What?"

Ram: "You only know the names of the good looking guys, don't you?"

Friend: "NOOOO, dont assume things"

Ram: "Okay whats the name of Argentina's coach?"

Friend: "Pekerman"

Ram: "Ahaa so you have a thing for older guys...the Richard Gere...Sean Connery sort...now I know why you admire Abdul Kalam so much"

Friend: " Oh just shut up Ram, don't make a fool out of yourself"

Ram: "Whats the name of their goalkeeper?"

Friend: "I dont have to answer that question to prove a point!"

Ram: "You bloody well can't. Because you don't fancy Abbondanzieri."

Friend (defeated look): "You can think whatever you want to."

Ram(clearly enjoying): "Okay all you have to do is explain what offside is in Football and I swear will do whatever you want me to do...think about it... its like a blank cheque"

Friend (thinking hard for a minute): " Stop being juvenile, I know having cerebral capabilities that matches a frog doesn't help much, but, you could atleast make an effort to act mature like other adults."

Getting compared to a Frog, definitely hurt and I was trying my best not to show it.

Voice from heaven: "Son! persistence pays don't budge an inch. Women insult you when they cannot justify themselves."

Ram: "So Miss Left Back doesn't know. Hey! did you say you were left back for your team or left back from your team"

Friend ( face pales): " I don't have to respond to ape-men like you."

I have to admit it, I felt a little proud. With one accusation I made a huge leap. (from being a frog to being an ape).

Friend: "Its the right hand side of the ground"

Ram(puzzled): "What?"

Friend (a little unsure): "Offside"

It took some time for me to make the connection. Apparently Miss Pinkie got the football "offside" confused with the cricket "offside". It had me in splits.

Ram (uncontrollable laughter): "So whats onside then?"

Friend ("I want to run away from here" look): " The left side??"

Ram (falling off the chair): "Brilliant!!!"

Auto-crazy

2006-06-11T02:52:00.000-04:00

"Once you get to Chennai, buy your own auto", sagely advice from an American friend who clearly didn't enjoy his tryst with the auto-man empire of Chennai. A five kilometere journey in the city could cost you around 50 rupees. A 4 rupee price hike in petrol could make autocratic drivers demand 70 rupees without batting an eyelid. Hmmm, you might ask, "What ever happened to the meter?" The auto meter is a decorative piece of instrument made by a company called PRICOL and is universally detested by the auto-seekers of Chennai. Primarily because every manufactured piece is carefully redesigned by our enterprising auto-men which makes the meter run faster than Superman.

So to sum it all up, an auto ride is one harrowing experience. To make it a little less harrowing you should probably get yourself a business law degree with a specialization in negotiation.

However, the entire exercise leads to some lighter moments. At a recent get together with some of my college buddies we were recollecting a couple of such exchanges:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SK (friend of mine in Adyar):Sir, can you come to Ashok Nagar?
Auto guy: Yes Sir.
SK: How much?
Auto guy: 150 rupees sir.
SK: Hmmm..I know Adyar is in Chennai, isn't Ashok Nagar in Chennai too?
Auto guy:!!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The distance between Adyar and Kilpauk is 11 kms. 8 rupees per km is considered extremely reasonable

Vivek (in Kilpauk): Can you come to Adyar?
Auto guy: 120 rupees sir
Vivek: 40 rupees
Auto guy (stops the vehicle and pulls the key out of the ignition): I have driven this auto for 8 years, and I swear on this key you will never get an auto.
Vivek: Ok, 45 rupees, last and final!
Auto guys (shakes his head): Saaaar!!!
Vivek (magnanimously): Okay 60 and no more.
Auto guy (looks skywards): Fine lets go

a couple of hours later...
Vivek: Kumar, the auto guy fleeced me man
Kumar (smiling inwardly, welcome to Chennai! bangalore boy): So how much did you pay?
Vivek: I paid 60 da
Kumar (slightly flustered): from where to where?
Vivek(in the same breath as going from the living room to the bath room): from Kilpauk to Adyar
Kumar(incredulously): What 60 rupees from Kilpauukkk to Adyaarrr?
Vivek: Is that a lot? I knew it. Didn't like the sight of the guy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kumar (a long journey at 12 in the night, trying to make it a little interactive):So,how long are you driving this auto?
Auto guy: 10 months sir. I am getting married next month sir. I live in Adyar kuppam sir.
Kumar(ask one question, get three answers not bad, only if my clients were that easy): brill..
Auto guy (starts off before Kumar completes): Not exactly Adyar kuppam.Actually sir, I belong to Madurai sir. You know Madurai sir, captain's hometown sir. I am voting for captain sir. Are you voting sir?
Kumar: Uh..I
Auto guy: Captain is a nice guy sir. I am not exactly from Madurai sir, I am from a place called Usilampatti sir, famous for rowdies sir.
Kumar (gulp): Oh I see.
Auto Guy: Even I was a rowdy till last year sir. We usually start off when we are 16 sir and we are in the gang till 22 sir and then they let us go our own way sir.
Kumar(fidgety, 3 more kms to home): Oh cool
Auto guy: I didn't like it sir. My brother is also in the gang I am asking him to come out of it sir. But they pay him well and he even was a part of that high profile murder a year back sir. He got 1500 rupees for it sir. You would have seen it on paper too sir.
Kumar(shitting bricks): Uhh..what..
Auto guy: I hope you dont get me wrong sir, we don't kill sir. We just make up the numbers sir. You know like in the movies. We are in the background. All murders we do are for real-estate and politics sir. We don't kill common men like you sir.
Kumar( stretching head out to see how far the apartment is): Very nice, you are considerate.
Auto guy (flashing a smile into the rear view mirror): Yes sir, that we are.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know if that even sounded remotely funny. Situational humour is best when translated on screen.

Not many people get a chance to develop a personal relationship with the auto-driver to know the difficulties they face. Now, don't get me wrong here, I whole heartedly agree that 70 rupees for 5 kms is daylight robbery. But they have their own problems, paying off the RTO, paying off the cop, paying off the owner if its a rented auto, supporting their family etc.

There have been many poignant experiences with a slight undercurrent of humour. I would like to narrate one such experience. (I really know this auto guy well and so we kinduv pull each others legs very often)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Auto guy: All you officer people, you earn so much. Whats there in giving us 10 rupees more with a smile on your face.

Kumar: Let them increase my pay and I will be happy to give you the extra 10 rupees. In fact I always tell my manager about you.

Auto guy: Yeah right! I believe you. Tell me, Whats my name?

Kumar: Chinniah

Auo guy: Ah you are educated so you remember names.Ok tell me how much you make every month..10,000?

Kumar(slightly uncomfortable): Uh..a little more

Auto guy: Ok lets say 15,000. Hmmm thats a lot of money. Thats how much I make in 2 months.

Kumar(I didn't want him to make me feel guilty): I have to pay off loans you know. 6 years of fees to be precise.

Auto guy: You studied for 6 years!! Are you an engineer?

Kumar (phone starts ringing): Yes, uh... Hello...fine that would be great, I will come and pick it at 6. Thanks I appreciate it.

Auto guy (listening to me on the phone talking English): Sir, its all got to do with English no sir?

Kumar: What?

Auto guy: Everything no sir. Only if my son speaks in English, he will get a job no sir?

Kumar: Well our CM can speak only Tamil, he is doing good.

Auto guy: But his nephews, whats his name... Maran, I saw on TV sir. He was wearing suit boot and talking in English and that too with white men sir.

Kumar: Yes Chinniah, you got to make your sons study English.

Auto guy: You should thank your father sir, he made you study. You speak excellent English.In fact, better than the guy in house number 6 sir.That guy thinks he is some lord labaku or something sir.

Kumar (smiling): Yes but will you make your son study?

Auto guy: I have two sons sir, I am sending one to the corporation school and the other to the convent. I can't afford to send both to the convent. The fees is 4000 rupees a year. Atleast in corporation school they give him meals.

Kumar: Yeah, can't you take a loan?

Auto guy: How many loans can I take sir? I couldn't pay the EMI for my auto so the bank guys seized it. I am driving my brothers auto. Every day I have to hear my brother's wife berating him for letting me ride it for free when they can make 150 rupees in rent every day.My wife berates me for being spineless. Women sir...they are impossible...never marry sir!

Kumar: I am sorry Chinniah.

Auto guy: Don't be sir. Even my mother made me study sir. I didn't, I started smoking when I was 14, drinking when I was 16. I smoked grass and mixed with all the wrong people. My brother on the other hand was not as smart as me sir.But he had good friends sir, he is hardworking. He owns 5 autos sir. Even if I didnt study and talk English like you sir, I could have atleast been like him sir.

Kumar: Don't worry man, your son is going to do good.You work hard too, I always see you in the auto stand day or night.

Auto guy: I hope so sir. He is the sole reason for my existence sir, I have really mended my ways sir.I have stopped drinking sir. Every paise goes for their education.

Kumar: Thats really nice to hear. In 10 years you will own 10 autos. Your son will buy them for you.

Auto guy (laughing): I am not greedy sir, really. I know I am over charging you, its only because I really need to make that much money support my family sir, make my kids study sir.I don't want to build a bungalow sir. I even dont want 1 auto sir. I just want my family to be healthy and educate my kids sir. My mother provided me an opportunity, I want to provide them an opportunity.

Review: Fanaa- Destroyed in Love

2006-05-27T23:22:00.000-04:00

First of all I would like to be clear on this point: Fanaa is definitely NOT a once in a lifetime experience. Second of all, this is just "my" opinion after seeing the movie. Third of all, I can confidently say that I am in the majority. So, don't get swayed by extremely biased reviews that are making the rounds on the wild wild web.

Fanaa marks the return of Kajol to the silver screen after a five year hiatus. Thats probably reason enough to bring people into the theatre. Now, when you also have the added bonus of Aamir acting opposite Kajol, I wasn't too surprised when my colleague mentioned that all the tickets for the movie this weekend were sold out on Friday.But, miraculously I was able to book my tickets online on Satyam's website, a few hours before the movie. Now don't ask me how I was able to get tickets on the day of the show. Remember, I told you its a miracle! hallelujah! a miracle that made me waste the longest 3 hours of my life. I must admit that the performances were top notch and there were a few good scenes, but, they were far flung. And, trust me, on hindsight, in a movie with a run-time of 170 minutes, a few good scenes with top notch performances doesn't make it a worthwhile trip.

Kajol plays the part of a blind Kashmiri girl Zooni Ali Baig. We are shown a blind Zooni saluting the tricolour in the first scene of the movie. However, Zooni is unsure of where the national flag is and ends up doing a flag salute while not facing the flag. And, the moment her mother pushes her in the direction of the flag, Zooni breaks into a smile. Kajol is not the kind of person who is drop dead gorgeous, but as soon as she breaks into a smile you start smiling with her.Kajol's introductory scene is truly a sight for sore eyes that have been constantly abused by skimpily clad heroines and extremely suggestive dance numbers. She is so spontaneous and so full of life, she is one of the three reasons that makes you stay till the end of the movie (will come to the other two later). Zooni's ageing and over-posessive parents, Zulfi (Rishi Kapoor) and Nafisa (Kiron Kher)are reluctant to send their daughter to Delhi along with her friends for the republic day cultural event. However, they end up giving a teary and poetic farewell to their daughter for what is supposedly a 7 day trip. These scenes are overtly saccharine that could even make a maudlin flinch.
Digression 1: At this juncture, I would like to thank my parents for sending me off on year-long trips without such emotion and melodrama.
Digression 2: I realized that if I don't cut down on food, if I don't work out and if I continue to sit on my ass day in and day out,in all probability I am bound to end up like Rishi Kapoor. Being compared to Rishi's girth is A SCARY THOUGHT indeed, but look at the bright side, on hearing this there is the possibility of people relating me to Rishi Kapoor during his "Bobby" days.

On reaching Delhi, Zooni and her gang are in the company of the chatty and charming tour guide Rehaan Qadri (Aamir Khan). Some of the interludes between Zooni's friends and Rehaan are quite funny. Predictably, the lovely lassie with a ear for shayaris gets smitten by the tour guide who just spews couplets left, right and center. Some of the couplets are good, but before you get a chance to soak it in, we have someone belting out another. In fact the shayaris, after a point get to you to so much that you will end up thinking that it was perhaps a well disguised Gulzar or Javed Akhtar reeling one after the other. The director tries to give a lyrical tilt to the love that Zooni and Rehaan have for each other. But, he fails to realize that poets in this world are sadly a minority. There is also this one irritating scene that I HAVE TO tell you of. A blind and unattended Zooni tries to cross the road herself in a bid to impress Rehaan. The girl is under the impression that boy friends and girl friends do such sensless things to impress each other. Mr. Kunal Kohli (he is the director) please put on your thinking cap before you come out with such "priceless" scenes.

Ok now back to the story. Rehaan who is also in love with Zooni is afraid to commit himself because he has some other important things that require his undivided attention. However, that doesn't stop Rehan from sleeping with Zooni. Now dont raise your eyebrows, because when you come to know about circumstance#1 which led to the incident..er..sorry... intercourse, you are likely to say its a "but obvious" course of action. Hmmm, so what could make a conservative blind Muslim girl to sleep with a commitment-phobic tour guide whom she has known for a whole week- what else? the traditional bollywood rain-dance. Post rain-dance Rehaan succumbs to the blinding love of Zooni and decides to marry her. He also decides to get Zooni a fresh pair of eyes before their nikaah. Pardon me for equating eyesight to something as trivial as getting a pair of socks from shoppers stop, but thats how the scene plays out on screen

Doctor: How many times should we ask you to come for regular check-ups?
Patient: uh huh uh, what you saying doc?
Doctor: Ah nevermind we will get your retina fixed.

Post-operation
Patient: Dad I can see, Mom I can see

And thats not all, Zooni after her eye operation is immediately accosted by the police to identify a corpse.Its so bloody stupid. Anyway, back to the story, post operation, circumstance#2 separates Rehan and Zooni.7 years later you get to see Rehan junior because of circumstance #1. Rehan Jr. is "reason number two" that infuses some light hearted moments in an otherwise serious and slow movie fraught with emotion. Watch out for the sequence where the kid explains why he calls Rahul Dravid abba. The scene where he hands Aamir a glass of haldi milk is also rib tickling. Aamir is "reason number three" that will make you stay till the last scene plays out on screen. Aamir is extremely at ease when he plays the role of the tour guide in the first half. He is quite convincing in his second half avatar as well. I dont want to give too much of the movie, so I will just leave it at that. After watching Aamir and Kajol in scenes that they act together, you will (or atleast I) witness two actors who have completely contrasting styles and yet their on-screen chemistry is great.Kajol is an instictive actress and Aamir is quite methodical, but I guess the similarity they share is the intesity with which they act.

This movie has captured Delhi really well.The camera man should be commended because every frame is picture perfect.Barring Chaand Sifarish, I thought all the songs were pretty ordinary. There was this one horrendous song where they worked in some hindi tongue twisters ala "she sells sea shells" in to the lyrics of the song. My sympathies to the playback singers who sang it. You can go to the theatre and get destroyed, or if you are smart you can stay home and wait for the "destruction" to play out on TV.

Joke da machaan-3

2006-04-24T01:21:00.000-04:00

This joke was narrarted by a Finance professor who was training analysts from General Electric. He wanted to explain them a seemingly complex concept through a simple joke. My cousin who was one of the trainee's remembered the joke but didn't quite remember the concept :)

So this is third in the series- following my jokes about Michael Jackson and an Australian Army Captain.

Question: If you plan to ask your brother-in-law to loan you some money, what will you get from him?

Answer: Your Sister!

Review: Pattiyal

2006-03-23T08:53:00.000-05:00

Pattiyal is inspired by the Thai film "Bangkok Dangerous" (there is a slight hint of City of Gods as well). Sorry, if I broke the bubble, its not original. But, I have to admit that it has been well adapted to the tamil milieu, it is technically slick and has some amazing performances. Pattiyal is just what Kollywood needs to spice things up in what has so far been a dull 2006.

The story is centered around childhood friends Kosy(Arya) and Selva(Bharath)who are contract killers.The bearded Kosy is very talkative and very very drunk throughout the movie. Selva, who is deaf and dumb can talk only through his eyes and hands. Arya as Kosy is fantastic. He is no wonder the rising star, women like him for obvious reasons, the college going crowd considers him cool, the audience at B and C centres seems to have developed a special liking for him after his Arindhum Ariyalum portrayal of the 'local' rowdy. So it wasn't very surprising to hear women shriek and men shower confetti on Arya's introduction. Bharath plays the mute Selva to perfection.His performance was a revelation, because I thought he over acted in Chellamae and didn't particularly shine in an ensemble film like Boys.In Pattiyal, Bharath manages to transform himself from a cold hearted killer, to a trusted friend, to the lovesick youngster with such amazing ease.

Saami(Cochin Haneefa) is the middleman who provides Kosy and Selva their targets. Its nice to see such a talented actor like Haneefa back in a tamil movie. I can never forget his performance in Mahanadhi-to me, that was the epitome of evil. In Pattiyal his character is not as villainous but nonetheless he comes up with a brilliant performance. Contract killing in chennai is portrayed as something thats very unorganized. Kosy and Selva are just normal guys who lead a very ordinary life in the slum playing football, watching TV and going to movies. Similarly, Saami is a government employee who gets into the killing business for the money. Infact, the local goons in the slum are not even aware of the Kosy-Selva- Saami nexus.

Saro (Padmapriya) and Sandhya (Pooja) complete the star cast. Saro lives in the same slum as Koshy.For some inexplicable reason, she is head over heels over the perenially drunk Koshy (Woman, wake up! he kills people for a living). There! got that off my chest.I wanted to yell at her in the theatre but the constant shrieks for Arya made me a little nervous. Selva's heart warms up for Sandhya, a pharmacist, when he goes to her shop to get some medication for his cold.The scenes shared by Selva and Sandhya slackens the pace of the movie. I guess its because Pooja has to talk for herself as well as Bharath which at times tests ones patience.The romance track could have been just as cute as Sandhya (Pooja). I think I am being a little harsh because Ghajini has kinda raised the standard bar. Padmapriya, ex-analyst at GE, through Pattiyal has gone for an image makeover. She goes the distance to shed off the "pretty, shy and dimunitive girl" image that she acquired from her last hit, tear jerker movie Thavamai Thavamirundhu - How?- What else, an item number. I must admit that it wasn't as bad as the ones you get to see from Malavika and Namitha. I guess the Sania Mirza quote - "well behaved women seldom make history" must have struck a chord with Padmapriya.

Now to the cons. The first half is incoherent. An insipid flash back (The last time I liked a flash back was Dhool where the Vivek-Vikram-Jo voice over's was something novel and funny), random murders and some random scenes which just add some more reels to a very short movie (run time 130 minutes). But, its just a small blip in an otherwise taut and well executed movie. The climax is absolutely riveting where Bharath delivers a knock out performance.The songs are brilliant, YSR seems to be conquering new heights every passing month (His releases in the last 6 months- Sandakozhi, Kanda Naal Mudhal, Kalavanin Kadhali, Pudhupettai, Pattiyal, AIBI- Impressive!). The director (Vishnuvardhan) has picturized the songs imaginatively. The "Poga Poga...." song is the pick of the album and manages to tickle your funny bone on screen.

I know this a late review, anyway its a good movie go and watch it! :)

PS. Appan coming shortly- So sorry !

Mere sapno ki rani kab aayegi thoo - 2

2006-02-24T01:21:00.000-05:00

Appan usually enjoyed his ride home, especially on a summer evening. The breeze got cooler as Appan started to pedal faster, something that he couldn't do with the regulatorless rickety table fan that adorned his modest two-room home. The road home was the first tar road to be built in the district. It was sheer bliss, newly laid, spotlessly clean except for some patches of dry dung deposited by some rather unappreciative bovine. However, Appan's current predicament made him least bothered about the road, the ride or the breeze. He was getting engaged in two weeks and he had no clue about the girl he was getting engaged to.Appan knew that this whole episode had something to do with his mother, despite the letter being written and signed by his father. Appan's mother was the kind of person who always worked behind the scenes. She was a very deceptive woman and conveyed the impression of just another dimunitve and powerless housewife. But as far as Appan's household was concerned every decision was conceptualized in the kitchen and implemented in the living room (his rifle toting father's bastion). So Appan's mother always had this knack of making her husband believe that he was still the Colonel, but in actuality he was still the soldier carrying out orders. However, Appan had to admit that he never remembered his mother making a wrong decision. But, this was his marriage and he couldn't let it to his mother's judgment. He had to see the girl and talk to her before he committed to marry her.

Appan was trying hard to remember if he had seen Kathiresan Chettiar's daughter in any of the events that he recently attended. The only images that he seemed to recollect were of the enormous Kathiresan Chettiar, who strongly resembled a beached whale. Infact people called him "Gundu Kolukatta Chettiar" behind his back, not because of Kathiresan Chettiar's affinity for the delicacy, but his imposing jelly belly. Appan just hoped that obesity wasn't something that was hereditary in the Kathiresan household. The flurry of thoughts didn't slow down Appan as he reached home five minutes earlier than usual. Just as Appan was opening the gate, a bright red lambretta zoomed past him. Appan considered the lambretta yet another ugly reminder of the "The License Raj Economy".The lambretta was regarded as a princely possession, as the waiting list to get the scooter was 7 years. The people who managed to bypass the list either had strong political connections or had enough money to cough up for a second hand lambretta. A second hand lambretta, was usually no more than 2 or 3 months old. The second hand buyer was willing to pay twice its original value as he didn't have the patience for such long waiting lists.

The lambretta that zoomed past Appan reminded him of his cousin Chandru and his "JL" . Chandru was a mine of information when it came to women, cinema and politics. He would be able to shed light on Appan's would be. Chandru was a production manager at the AVM film studios, the nation's second largest movie production house located in Madras. He led a very glamorous life as the nature of his work enabled him to have a working relationship - his wife made sure it was a very strict working relationship when it came to those beautiful actresses- with most of the top movie stars on an everyday basis. Since politics and cinema went hand in hand in Madras*, Chandru had friends who were friends of politicians, which explained "JL". Chandru named his Lambretta JL because he was smitten by the sultry actress JothiLakshmi, who, despite all her flab had quite a large fan following in South India.It brought a smile to Appan's face because Chandru's wife thought that by calling it "JL", Chandru was paying homage to the late prime minister and freedom fighter JawaharLal Nehru.

Appan felt a lot better as he decided to place a trunk call to Chandru's office first thing in the morning and get to know more about -"Kathireswoman"- (for the lack of a name he decided to her Kathireswoman) tomorrow.

To be continued

Gundu: Gundu in Tamil means fat

Kolukattai: A chubby South Indian sweet delicacy. It looks like this

Chettiars: A tamil speaking community whose origins are in Chettinad, Tamilnadu. More here.
Gundu Kolukattai Chettiar:

*The last two Chief Ministers of Tamilnadu were leading playwrights/script writers (C.N Annadurai-1967 to 1969 and M. Karunanidhi- 1969 to 1971)

Note: India's first scooter appeared in the market place in 1972 whereas this story takes place in 1971. Please bear with the inconsistency :).

Not a review: Rang De Basanti

2006-02-03T11:58:00.000-05:00

Its about an hour since I left Ega theatre. There was pin drop silence. Even the "ants in the pants" kind of people with car/bike keys in one hand and their impatiently ringing mobile phones in the other stayed till the last scene was played out on the silver screen.

Rang De Basanti is a difficult film for me to review. Its impossible for me to objectively think about this movie and analyze each and every facet with cold clinical precision. Not that I always review movies in such a manner. I am not a serious critic who tries to find flaws just for the sake of finding them, its just that there are a very few things that excite me and good cinema is one such. A movie is a labour of love, commitment and pain, laudable efforts need to be recognized. I accept that the chances of Aamir Khan reading my rave review of his performance are bleak, but the chances of someone googling "kamasutra" and ending up in pagalak are bright(my webstat analyzer dutifuly reminds me everyday).I am digressing. I am writing this post to urge my friends, Armchair Philosophers and avid Vatsayana readers(if you have reached this far, I am sorry this is not Kamasutra) to go and see this movie.This movie has its share of flaws. But, I would like to concentrate on the message the movie wants to convey.

There are so many things in the movie that I identify with. Like for example, there were a few friends of mine who strongly believed in the saying " Patriotism is the fervour of fools" . I was taken aback and after 'God knows how many' hours of trying to make them see things my way, I have to admit it, I slowly began seeing things their way. They had a very simple answer to stonewall each and every effort of mine to impress upon them about the spirit of oneness and the concept of a nation-that answer or rather question being- "Why should I care? What has this country done for me?"

The protagonists in this movie are not any different from my friends and the way they express their thoughts on the uselessness of freedom and patriotism reminded me of the argument that I had with my friends.

The comments on my recent New Year post unwittingly summed the core theme of Rang De Basanti which gives an indication of how the director has managed to sense the pulse of the nation.

An excerpt from the New Year post,

I do understand your point. People dont react as long as they get affected. It makes for interesting discussion at cocktail parties. But I beg to differ. I agree I am not the kind of guy who is a revolutionary. And what if I am a revolutionary? Who am I to revolt against- the Jihadis, the sexually starved Indian urban male, bad roads no electricity?

Things were much simpler in the 30s, when we had the most basic of things to fight for- Freedom. Things are different now, I can vote the coming elections and I can write a long letter listing my woes to the municipal office.Thats the only thing the "established" world lets me do.

I am the average powerless law abiding (for the most part) citizen who doesnt mind standing in long queues, the guy who looks for a dustbin to dispose his plastic cup. And I want everyone to be like me and until that happens I will continue to write about things that irk me.

I believe our nation is in a transitional phase. A movie like RDB is an effort which will serve as a catalyst to help us eventually get out of our shells. Aamir's parting words in Rang De Basanti is worth mentioning- it may sound cliched now but is truly profound when viewed on the screen.

"There are two kinds of people in this world. There are people who tolerate everything that comes their way in life and then there are some who don't let life dictate terms,these people shape their own destiny"

So in addition to writing about things that irk me, I am seriously thinking of ways of how I could make myself more useful. For starters, I am planning to get myself a voters card.

Apologies

2006-01-31T10:15:00.000-05:00

Hello People (i.e if there are still people who come to this blog for updates)

Pressing family commitments (interpret it whatever way you want to, I don't care :) )and Depressing professional commitments has made me put Appan and his would be Vallikannu on the backburner.Yeah, the only progress I have made so far on the story front is give my heroine a name. Not an easy job you know considering the number of options that I had, so, it took me a while to decide between Muthukaruppi,Kannathal and Valli Kannu. Anyway, I promise the next part will definitely be worth your precious time. For the uninitiated, this blog is read by some really important people (Dr's.,consultants, future novelists, budding entrepreneurs, traveling linguists and Engineers). So please give me 10 days to sort out some really unimportant things in my life before I start with some really important happenings in Appan's life.

Thanks and Regards
Kumar Alagappan

Mere sapno ki rani kab aayegi thu- A prologue

2006-01-07T07:28:00.000-05:00

Appan scribbled “Nothing Happened” signed his name on the log book and walked out of the control room. The job of a maintenance engineer at Neyveli Lignite Corporation was seemingly simple when all the German boilers and English steam turbines were at peace with their Indian operating conditions. It was close to 10 pm as Appan walked towards the cycle stand. He was singing “May-ray sappu nokki raani kabbu aa-yay-gee thoo” as best as any Tamilian could. Burman’s latest hit from Aradhana made the entire nation (even the non-hindi speakers) join in chorus when it played on the radio.

Just as Appan was about to get on his Hercules, he saw his favourite security guard, Govindsamy, motioning him to come to his desk.

Guard: “Saar, please sign against your name and collect your mail.”

Appan (in a surprised tone): “Can’t be possible. Is my name written on the cover? ”

The only people who ever wrote letters to Appan was his cousin Chandru and his mother. To his knowledge he has never mentioned his office address to either of them. They usually mailed their letters to his house address.

Guard (looking at the cover): “Yes. If your name starts with A and ends with N, with a couple of Ps and an A thrown in between, then I am indeed fortunate to be among the 30 percent of literates to grace our country.”

Appan (signing his name with an irritated look on his face): “Thanks, nice to know that I am working with people who can read”

Appan snatched the letter away from the guards hands and flipped the cover to look at the “from” address. Appan saw his fathers name written on it. Appan couldn’t remember the last time his dad wrote him a letter.

Guard: “ Has there been a death in…. ”

Appan shot a nasty look at the guard which made him shut his mouth before he could complete his sentence. Appan opened the letter to see 2 lines of his dads handwriting, which over the years had regressed to doctor-esque proportions. Appan, after deciphering his dads letter, crumpled it and threw it into the dustbin adjacent to the guard’s table and furiously cycled away home.

The guard walked towards the dustbin, looked over his shoulders, before bending down to shamelessly pick up the crumpled letter.

It read:

--------------------------Annamalaiar Thunai-------------------------------------
23rd July, 1970

Appan,
Your engagement with Kathiresan Chettiar’s daughter has been fixed on the 12th of August. Your mother would like you to reach home on the 10th of August. Plan your trip accordingly.

Jai Hind,
Retd. Col. AL. Nagappan

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a faint smile on the guards face as he deposited the letter back to the dustbin. Mohammad Rafi started singing “Mere sapno ki rani kab aayegi thu” in his magical voice on the guards pocket transistor.

(to be continued)

New Year

2005-12-17T05:43:00.000-05:00

At the end of every year, the Media does us all a huge favour by over analyzing how every year goes by. They replay the rapes, the scams, the wars, the calamaties, the killings, the lootings and the bomb blasts.At the fag end of the year, journalists with their plastic smiles (or in a deeply concerned voice) wish us a happy new year and sincerely hope that the next year will turn out to be good.

By some curious mischance if things actually turn out to be good, half the journalists in this world would have to be sacked. Things have come to a point where nothing is considered news unless its bad news. People who know me well think that I am an eternal pessimist. I think I am just being realistic. I know its December 31st, you dont have to work tomorrow, just another excuse for you to party all night, drink to your liver's content and get high. But thats not going to make your new year any happier. You will invariably wake up late afternoon on the 1st with a really nasty hangover.An indication for the ordeals awaiting you in the coming 364 days.

So lets be objective about 2006 and not succumb to a night's partying and foolishly think that the New Year is going to be all honey and sugar. The best way to forecast anything is look at historical data and look for trends.Have you heard of the adage "History repeats itself". Offlate its been repeating itself with amazing regularity.

Do you know in 1981, Prince Charles married, England won the Ashes series, Liverpool were league champions and the Pope died. 2005 wasn't any different. I hope you see where I am going with this.

So my predictions for the next year.

1.Jihadis will continue with their painstaking efforts in teaching all infidels a lesson. Infidels: Anyone, it can be a Professor, a pregnant woman catching the train to meet her doctor, an office worker busily punching his keyboard trying to add a few more dollars to his company's coffers. Bush will continue his quest of finding Weapons of Mass Destruction. He might have to ocassionaly kill thousands of civilians. There will be some lives lost, but its all for the greater good of aMericANKIND or America's safety. Michael Moore and the rest of Bush's detractors will make movies,write columns,conduct surveys and opinion polls on how useless Bush is.

2.Mother Nature has been unwinding herself in too many ways in the last few years.I really do not know why Nature wants to expedite our passage to doomsday when we ourselves are furiously at work, constantly thinking of new ways to self destruct. So that gives rise to this multiple choice question,
Will 2006 bring us.....
A. An Earthquake
B. Flash floods
C. A Tsunami
D. A Hurricane/Cyclone
E. All of the above

3.Politicians will continue to be caught in compromising positions on Candid Camera. Scams of all sorts will be unearthed. We have already seen a gamut, from guns to fodder to coffins to something as simple as asking questions. So what if we cannot send a man to the moon, our politicans will continue to be imaginative and explore unchartered territories in their own way.

4. The media will continue targeting celebrities and will go beyond the call of duty to find out who sleeps with whom. Big B will end up doing 30 odd films. Rajnikanth will feature in another blockbuster. Vijay fans will continue lapping up his 5 gaana songs, 3 fights and mother/sister sentiments. Malika Sherawat will better her record of 17 kisses on screen.Tear inducing soap operas and artificial reality shows will register high TRP ratings.The Australian cricket team will beat the crap out of everybody. Federer, if he is out of form, will win 2 out of the 4 slams. If he is on song then he will go on to win 3 out of 4 slams.

5. The sexually starved Indian urban male will strike once again in one of the Indian Metros.The media will go bonkers for 3 days. They will ask all sorts of questions to all sorts of people about the lack of respect for women in this country. While the media play the role of crusaders, there will be 100s of women silently suffering a similar plight in the remotest corners of India. Think about it "Rape in Pallipalayam" does it sound newsworthy? "Call center employee raped in Banglore" now thats what is going to keep you tuned to your TV set in between all the cola and tooth paste commercials.

6. India will continue to be extremely concerned about moral degeneration of its society by pointing fingers at tennis players wearing short skirts and actresses expressing their opinions on premarital sex.Police officers who took 2 decades to catch Veerapan will continue to "do their duty" by roaming beaches, parks, restaurants and hotels by castigating couples for walking/sitting/standing together.Self righteous journos will splash pictures of men and women in private parties on their newspapers to sell a few extra copies.

Now to the other routine things,

Petrol and Gas prices will increase.
There will be some train accidents and Lalu will set up an enquiry commission as usual.
CTS, Infosys and TCS will hire thousands of people.
Its too early to say if Sania will win a slam but she is sure to get a couple of fatwas.
Some movie will run into troubles with the censor board or a religious outfit for inaccurately representing minorities.
Delhi will become dhilli (remember chennai,kolkota and bengaluru).
The Indian cricket selectors will be just as enigmatic as they have been all these years.

So after carefully reading newspapers, magazines and watching news channels all these years I can confidently say that 2006 is going to be like any other year.

The grass is green and the roses are red....
Hoping against hope, Happy New Year!

Review: Kanda Naal Mudhal

2005-12-09T09:25:00.000-05:00

Kanda Naal Mudhal from 'Duet Movies' directed by Priya.V, who has assisted Mr.and Mrs. Maniratnam with their movies, has been refreshingly presented despite its tried and tested storyline.

Story = Yesterday's biriyani
Boy-girl always fight....another guy comes into the picture....confusion and chaos which causes too many problems for the girl.....boy helps her out.....boy-girl love.... boy-girl hate.... boy-girl love again....the end

But, Priya has managed to package this wafer line story well. A good set of technicians, well etched characters, some really nice performances and rocking music somehow makes yesterday's biriyani very palatable. Krishna (Prasanna) and Ramya (Laila) had a very unpleasant fight when they were kids. Fate brings them back together again 20 years later, at Krishna's college fest but the unpleasantness continues. A few more years pass by and we are shown Krishna managing a software firm funded by his NRI friend Aravindh (Karthik) who hates marriage(Why do all NRI guys in cinema hate marriage?). Ramya on the other hand works for some company and supports her family. Her family consists of a younger sister who wants to badly marry her christian boy friend of seven years, a kid brother, a hearing impaired father and a really sweet but weak hearted mother (played admirably by Revathy). I think you can make out the story by now.

Now to the performances, the whole movie revolves around Prasanna and Laila.They have shouldered the responsibility very well. Prasanna has some amazingly funny lines in the movie.His perfect comic timing prevents us from realizing the absence of a comedian in the movie.However, he is not Charlie Chaplin throughout the movie. Prasanna brings out the right expressions when he is not able to decide on being selfish and proclaim his love to Laila or remain selfless and help his friend marry Laila. I don't know if its just me, but the way Prasanna carries himself resembles Surya in Mounam Pesiyadhe.Laila looks cute for most part of the movie except for the "Merke Merke" song where she looks absolutely ravishing in a green saree. I never thought Laila could play the role of a 'short tempered head strong girl who has an opinion about everything' so well. I have seen her in movies like Nandhaa where she mostly keeps quiet and in Ullam Ketkumae where even kids found her acting juvenile. So this was a pleasant surprise.I guess the director should again be credited for lending a whole new dimension to Laila's acting capabilities.Lakshmi who plays the role of Ramanima,a mother who will not rest until she sees her NRI son get married, raises a few laughs. Revathy plays Laila's mom with consummate ease that one can expect from such a seasoned actress like her.Karthik who plays the role of the NRI guy doesn't have much to do in the movie, he has a few scenes in the first half and then reappears at the very end of the movie. He doesn't overact and does what is required of him.

The movie has its share of flaws.Though all the characters seem realistic there is no plausible reason for their existence in the movie. The scene leading to the climax where Prasanna and Laila want to find out what's running through each others mind was an absolute joke. I have never seen people walking on the highway and talk about how they feel for each other when hundreds of monsterous lorries and buses are zooming past them. The dialogues in the highway scene (especially Laila's dialogues) makes you feel like tearing your hear apart.Sample this, " Yen nabanum nee, yen edhiriyum nee..." .It was more like a poetry recital, apart from people like Kannadasan and Vairamathu you wouldn't find many who can wax their eloquence in such a grim situation. I felt that the director hurried with the climax.Its a text book ending, I don't know how she muddled it up.

Yuvan Shankar Raja once again is top class. "Ilayaraja's son" will soon give way to "Yuvan Shankar Raja's father".Ilayaraja's shoes are really huge to fill but YSR who has a distinct style of his own seems to be getting there. P.C.Sreeram cranks the camera, and it didn't look any different from the other movies being released (which goes to say that all Tamil movies are well shot and technically slick). Priya, the debutante director does a really good job if one discount the climax. In this day and age where "Kollywood" is about king sized egos, its nice to see someone like Prakash Raj to have the guts and back a debutante woman director and a relatively inexperienced star cast. On the whole, this movie despite its predictability has been well executed and is a welcome change from the "3 fights,2 gaana songs,father/mother/sister/brother sentiment" formula. Some really enjoyable performances and well tuned songs makes it a worthwhile trip to the theatres. Its one of those movies that you have to watch with your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife.(People who know me, don't worry I went with three fully grown men and NO I am not into that).

Hurricane Mupaatha!!!

2005-12-03T01:49:00.000-05:00

There has been a series of rain storms tormenting Chennaites and denizens of Tamil Nadu in the last 6 weeks. These hurricanes seem to be never ending. Just when you think that you have seen the last of the mupaathas, Bay of Bengal conjures a brand new Miniamma. I am tired of going to the office soaking wet. It especially takes a toll on your mental and physical well being when " the concerned authorities" in your office believe that a soaking wet employee would be VERY productive when you make him freeze in a centrally air-conditioned room. Actually, coming to think of it, it has increased my productivity levels. My frequency of visits to the rest room has doubled in the last month. If there are any tests like Arctic Circle Certified Eskimo, I think I would ace it.

Every morning I leave my home 'smartly'(please, my blog is the only place where I am given the liberty of associating myself with such adjectives) attired, looking forward to do some kili josiyam (an impolite way of saying market forecasting) with the North American enterprise communications market. I step out of my house, and I see a puddle of water lying between my house gate and the road. I try my best to long jump to the dry road (onlookers have mentioned that my run up and movements resemble Carl Lewis). 9 out of 10 times I manage to make the jump and save my leather shoes. Then the next big ordeal is to reach the auto stand dry. The only way I can do that is walk in the middle of the road as walking on the sides of the road makes me feel like a small fish in a HUGE pond. Now, walking on the middle of the road is not very easy as there might be this occasional kuppathotti vandi (garbage van) that will appear suddenly. One has to be extremely alert in such a situation as you will only have seconds to decide on your altered course to the auto stand. Lunging towards the right side of the road or the left side of the road should depend on the shallowness of the puddle on each side and your high jumping capabilities. High jumping because, you wont have the luxury of free space to take a run up to gather momentum and cross the puddle. 6 out of 10 times I manage to take the right decision and lunge my way to safe and dry land. Its very tough to do and you get better with practice. On reaching the auto stand, if I am still dry, I thank God for his divine mercy and start haggling with the auto-driver. Auto drivers these days just need a reason to charge you an exorbitant fare (the last absurd one that I heard was Sourav Ganguly not making the one day team). So the rains have made them double their usual fares.

So, now on getting into the auto I am resonably pleased with myself and I begin to entertain visions of reaching my office perfectly dry. But life is cruel my friends, I found out that the chances of getting wet inside the auto is double than walking the same distance by foot.The auto stops being an auto and gets converted into a motor boat once we reach the main roads (you should consider yourself lucky as long as the auto doesn't turn into a submarine, it has happened quite a few times in areas like Tambaram). Bright motorists rev up their engines and hit their foot on the accelerator pedal so hard that displace half the water on the main road into the auto. So the only way of avoiding the water is by sitting on the center seat, removing your shoes and placing it on the boot of the auto and rolling up your pant. When I step out of the auto on reaching my office, I look like the farmers shown in vayalum valvum (agricultural programme) on DD, wet and muddy. Instead of having paddy in my hands I will be having my shoes in one and my bag in the other.

2005-11-23T09:37:00.000-05:00

Hello Folks,
This has been A VERY busy 2 weeks. I still haven't completed what I originally set out for. I hope it gets over quickly so that I can resume blogging.

Things that I have learnt so far...

1. Now I know why people stay late at work.
2. Now I know why people say its really nice to go back and study.
3. Now I know why working on a "Multi-Cultural" (fancy word for an Indian and American trying to work together eventhough they are 10 and a half hours apart) is difficult.

There was something that happened which bothered me a lot. An incident which questioned my integrity. I got really pissed and I never knew I could feel so offended. Why can't people verify things before casting aspersions? Is it so hard to do? People just assume things without basing their opinions on facts. Although I did give the concerned person a lot to think about, I am not too sure if the deed won't be repeated again.

Someone said....
ASSUME- MAKING AN ASS OUT OF YOU AND ME

One Year

2005-10-25T06:45:00.000-04:00

Its been a year since I started blogging. It has been a very positive experience, I was able to make a few new friends and stay in touch with my family and friends.Every blogger at some point in time dedicates a post to why he/she started blogging.If you are reading this post,I must say that you have endured a lot and you are entitled to know the history behind this blog.

I was a regular reader of Sanketh's blog and through his blog I got to read many other interesting ones. Some were phenomenally witty, some were thought provoking and some were just dedicated for ranting. But I felt it was a really nice outlet for a lot of things running through your head. Things that you would like people to know about but are difficult to express in person. So gradually I got afflicted by the "I wanna have one too" syndrome. So what I thought would start and end as a fad became more of a habit. Plus, I had too much time on my hands and blogging was the creative outlet that I needed...it was an exhilirating feeling...it was like..like...finding a toilet when you are in absolute need of one. :D You must realize that its my 57th post and all my creative juices have evaporated, thats the best metaphor I could come up with.

I have been published in print for a grand total of 3 times, so it was really nice to see blogger say that my post has been published everytime I posted something.Even if I had something outrightly stupid to say. I never had the luxury of friends going through whatever I had written in college (mostly crap), so this was a nice way to find out what people thought of whatever I wrote. I partially succeded on this front, the maximum number of comments I have ever got was 16 which was partly because of my delaying tactics in posting the follow up to a story.And at times I even stooped to begging and pleading people to go to my blog.I try to drop subtle hints about leaving a comment.The hints got too subtle that a friend of mine put me on his spam list for sending out too many reminders to drop a comment.

I have some really cool friends who can debate about anything under the sun. Topics range from "Improving India in 60 days"* to " The Venezuelan oil economy"**. Some of these debates could get really passionate and out of control. Anything out of control meant 5 guys busting your ass. Still remember my roomie*** pouncing on me (literally) from one corner of the room to the other when he heard me saying Rajini had everything to become the Chief Minister of Tamilnadu. So this blog was a nice way to have some good spirited debates where I could take some cheap shots**** at a very safe distance away from the participants.

Thanks for reading Guys!

* Arun I hope you are still interested in that topic. It has given us many anecdotes to narrate for a life time.
** JAKS continues to speculate on diverse topics that he noses about. The latest being British parliamentary affairs in the 15th century.
*** Krish has taken a keen interest in Mexican politics and spanish cinema. So he doesn't express his opinions on anything Indian.
**** Karthik, sorry for leaving a comment in your name.But people seemed to believe it.

Paging Mr.Gandhi- Short Story

2005-10-19T01:22:00.000-04:00

Jignesh Gandhi walked out of a New Jersey theatre screening Maine Gandhi Ko Nahin Maara on a chilly October evening. It was the premiere show and Jignesh a self respecting bollywood junkie decided that he had to catch Anumpan Kher in his new incarnation despite having an early morning flight tomorrow. He didn’t know what to make of the movie after he got out of the theatre. He couldn’t term the movie good or bad. It was strange he always had something to say about any movie that he sees. There has never ever been a movie that has escaped his scathing criticisms or rave reviews. But, this one did. Anupam did a fantastic job and so did the other actors but Jignesh couldn’t relate to the movie at all. Jignesh's mother was an Irish American and his father was a Gujarati who immigrated to the US when he was a toddler himself. So, being born and brought up in America didn’t make things easier for him either, he didn’t know much about Gandhi or the values he imparted. So he couldn’t comment much about the movie’s take on the fading public memory of Gandhi and dying Gandhian virtues. Well he didn’t know a lot about a lot of other things that can be called Indian. But the Johars, Barajatyas and Chopras have done more than their share of work in taking care of most of these issues (ranging from Karva Chauth to the great Indian wedding). Apart from the famous Hollywood movie released decades ago and a few articles on TIME commemorating Gandhi, Jignesh’s access to Gandhi or anything remotely Gandhian was limited.

Jignesh was tossing and turning in his bed and was thinking about Gandhi’s importance and relevance in today’s world. Even though the movie was flawlessly executed, the message it tried to convey didn’t make any sense? Does it make sense to follow Gandhi's “hate the sin and love the sinner” philosophy in this day and age. It is illogical to dwell on Gandhian values and extol his principles in a rapidly changing world where victory is what matters and not the means. The winner gets all the attention, and not the person who gets the fair play award. Jignesh didn’t sleep very well but he managed to wake up in time for his early morning flight. The cab came on time. The driver was a middle aged Ethiopian, who loved to talk. Jignesh obliged, it was a 40 minute drive and staring blankly at the trees wasn't fun. The driver talked about rising gas prices, rising college fees and mounting credit card bills. Jignesh thought that it was probably the routine 40 minute speech that the driver usually gave to coax customers to pay a higher tip. And, Jignesh has never been an easy prey for these 'tug at the heart strings'tacticians.

Jignesh arrived at the airport an hour in advance. He gave the driver his customary 8 percent tip and in the process of calculating 8% of $78.5, he forgot his travel pouch which had his travel documents and 1200 dollars in traveler’s checks. He didn’t realize it until he went to the check in counter. He immediately called the cab company and asked them to notify the driver and the cab company gently reminded him that they were not liable in case they were not able to track the cab driver. Jignesh doubted that he would ever get his pouch back, the Ethiopian driver’s narration of his chapter 11 predicament was still fresh in his memory. Jignesh cursed his luck and decided that he will never ever take a cab driven by blacks; each and every one of THEM meant trouble. He heard his name being announced on the PA system just when he was contemplating on going to the police.

“PAGING Mr. Gandhi, PLEASE COME TO THE HELP DESK LOCATED IN THE CONCOURSE C LOBBY”

Jignesh didn’t know what to expect, he hurriedly walked towards the help desk. He found the driver waiting for him with his black leather pouch. Jignesh thanked the driver profusely and tried to compensate his hasty appraisal of the driver’s integrity by taking out a 100 dollar bill from his pocket. The driver pointed to the name Gandhi on the pouch and remarked, “He has done a lot for us and it wouldn’t be right if I took money from you. Have a nice flight sir!”

Benefits of being part of a capitalistic country

2005-10-05T10:26:00.000-04:00

I am a strong proponent of capitalism. I felt that the reason why India is on the slow track to progress is because of the
1. Government regulating all businesses in the country very closely. This leads to needless red tapism which slows down processes.
2. Nationalizing everything under the sun....hotel chains, natural gas, banks, telecommunications, fertilizers....the list is endless. Thankfuly someone came up with the bright idea of privatization.
3. The third reason is a by product of the second reason: Corrupt government babu's wanting a cut out of everything, making people think twice before setting up shop in India.

But such instances now makes me feel otherwise. A calamity of such sort in India would guarantee the centre backing the state completely. Banks wouldn't see the commerical viability of giving loans to the state when they are in such a desperate situation. Probably New Orleans would have been better of if they were a part of India.

2005-10-03T07:48:00.000-04:00

“How does it feel to come/go back home?”

A question that has been on everyone’s lips ever since the day I landed at CIA (Chennai International Airport). Everyone: comprises my friends and family in Chennai, my friends and family in Bahrain and my friends and family in the US. Yeah I guess I need to share the love, affection and concern that people (widely dispersed across different continents) are showering on me with the not so fortunate. Actually just 2 continents, but ‘different continents’ sounds better.

Before I answer this question, I would like to go over the trials and tribulations one faces when he makes the decision of coming back home for good.

It started with the interviews

I had so many telephonic interviews with my employer that I lost count. But every single call ended with a question.

“Kumar, Why India?”

I frankly didn’t know why. I wasn’t home sick and I actually liked the job but no one was ever willing to listen to that. I am patriotic but that was not the reason which prompted me to go back home. I just couldn’t tell my employer that I didn’t have anything worthwhile to do in Raleigh and the thought of having some 20 rupee Masala Dosas didn’t sound bad. Once my hiring manager said “Yes”, I was preparing myself for a battle with my relatives.

Then my relatives.
Tonnes of relatives called in and explained the perils of going back home….quality of life…. standard of living ….zero savings were some phrases that were dropped of quite often. Then they dropped the mother of all ashtras and shastras….the possibilities of me getting married very soon (Very soon in my family is a very loaded word could be even a week).

“ Kumar, Imagine how difficult it would be to take care of the Mrs. Needs with an Indian salary…(this shook me a little…I am 23 and they were already thinking of condemning me to the gallows read marriage)”

Once I got an Okay from my family (yeah, my 11 year old niece took some time to say her Okay but I finally got everyone on board), I thought things would be smooth sailing from here onwards.

Then my travel agent…WHAT?...you saw me right, my agent

I just had to book my air tickets and get myself into the airport. That’s when my ticket agent made me realize that an agent’s job profile is not limited to booking tickets. They are also a big brother kind of figure who makes you realize the enormity of the decision that you are taking. Just sample the conversation I had with my travel agent.

Me: I need one ticket to India.
Agent: Leaving date?
Me: Next week, 22nd Aug.
Agent: When are you coming back?
Me: It’s a one way ticket?
Agent: Is this ticket for someone else, mother….father?
Me: No it’s for me.
Static for the next 10 seconds
Me: Hello…Hello…you there
Agent (recuperating): Why are you taking a one way ticket?
Me (what’s this guy’s problem?): I don’t want to come back.
Agent: Have you thought about this?
Me ( none of your business): Uh..yes
Agent: But why?

It took a phenomenal effort for me to convince my agent.

Me: No, I didn’t escape the Institution of the mentally challenged
Me: Yes I am in control of all of my 5 God given senses.
Me: What do you mean 6?
Me: Oh its 6 for humans, Yeah I am in control.
Me: No no I am not the talking dog they showed on Animal Planet
Me: No, LSD is not my cup of tea.
Me: No I don’t have it with tea. I don’t have it at all.

My agent couldn’t do the vision and breath tests over the phone, so he very half heartedly gave in and booked my tickets.

Family friends can’t be left out…..

Once I set foot in Bahrain, I spent the next couple of days actively PRing my cause and explaining my position to well wishers and family friends. There were a couple of brain storming sessions about the Green card/H1-b situation in the US and the economic growth forecast for US vis a vis India for the next 10 years. There wasn’t enough time for us to reach a conclusion as my brief stop over in Bahrain was just for a week, so I had to pack my bags and leave.

On reaching India, my grand mother left no stone unturned and introduced me to everyone as the grandson who left the US and came back for good over some tea and biscuits with people who visit her. You needed women like my grandmother in these fancy advertising firms,she'd add a whole new dimesnion to advertising...grass roots level advertising.

So now since its been a month since I landed here, I can now devote an entire next post to tell you about the Chennai work culture and how it feels to be back home.

Quarterly Exam Jitters- Edited

2005-09-19T08:03:00.000-04:00

Its been a long time since I have heard the following words

Quarterly Exam - Causes mild palpitation of the heart

Half Yearly Exam- Makes me God fearing and agree in part with my grand mother's philosophy of, "Do your work and leave the rest to God.". If you have been reading this blog, by now, you would know which part of the philosophy that I am most likely follow.

Annual Exam- Causes mild loose motion, severe mental depression and creative thoughts of how to fake sickness and bunk exam (the loose motions sometime aids my case of faking sickness).

I can't believe that my fragile body has endured 12 iterations of these senseless exams, which I can confidently say has in no way made me a better person.I am really sorry dad...all that money...I know its hard...But if its any consolation, I wont make the same mistake. So you can look forward to a generation of Alagappan's who would most probably be smarter than me.

Okay now coming to the point why I remembered these three lovely exams. My cousin sister all of 11 years old, is already knee deep in the Mesapatomian civilization learning about Zigurrats and Hamurabi.I can see her eyes glitter when she reads about cuneiforms and hieroglyphics (yeah right!).I do appreciate the fact that our educational system makes sure that we know a little of everything (I bet Bush's Harvard education wouldn't have helped him in locating Iraq on the world map). But, shouldn't we learn a lot about the things we like, beginning at a very young age.

My cousin is going through her quarterly exam jitters. While she is studying feverishly, her mother has entrusted me to ask her daughter questions at the end of every chapter.Its really feels nice to make a transition to the other side you know, from being asked questions to asking questions. You can discpline the kiddo saying, "You didn't know such a simple thing and reading out from the book".Ah...I got to admit, advantages of being grown up.

Jokes apart,the whole exercise brought in a flood of memories. Some pleasant and some unpleasant (like the day when my dad hid the TV for flunking a test, two whole weeks without Yogi Bear and Tom & Jerry). The contemplative thinker (I can hear DK snigger, "anything thats got to do with thinking and you sounds risky!") that I am, there were a few questions that kept haunting me long after the history lessons.

The Indian Educational system has its pluses. Its content is intensive on Maths and Science during the formative years. This makes every kid think along the lines of being a doctor and an engineer. Couple this to the social stigma of doing something as outlandish as Journalism or English literature, we are guaranteeing a perfect recipe for disaster. An imbalanced society. To be honest, I don't mind the content or the stigma. Even if the entire system is geared towards Math and science, why can't these subjects be taught with relevant practical demonstrations.Education today is not about learning for the joy of learning; discovering something new; producing refined men and women; instilling values, cultural mores & traditions. And, more importantly helping students realize their dreams and ambitions and help them become someone they want to and not someone they are forced to. It is more about the 'bang for the buck'. Sample these conversations that take place in living rooms through out the country.

"Chemical Engineering! You will earn 6000 rs a month. Will that be enough? You should do Computer Science"

"You want to what? Music! Thats it I disown you."

I agree we should be concerned about having 3 meals a day. Most basic necessity which drives men and women to do anything in life. We have progressed light years from the age of "survival of the strongest" to "survival of the smartest". But how are you ever going to be smart when you have a natural aversion to biology. Somehow you succeed in mugging up the text book and score when it matters. You find yourself in a medical college but how smart are you going to be after sitting 5 years on the same chair, day in and day out, dreamily staring at the black board wondering if your life is going to be just as black.(bench thenjadhu dhaan micham...thats what my Physics sir used to say).

Is education in India interactive? I think we can squarely blame the lack of communication skills in our country because kids never have a chance to interact with teachers. I can count the number of times I would have asked questions in my class. Either I didn't understand enough to pose questions or I was extremely confident that the guy sitting next to me would do a better job of explaining than the teacher. Its more of a 'one to many' exercise.One teacher and 40 kids. Abysmally low teacher to student ratio. When the kids are innocent they would listen to whatever the teachers say and copy whatever is written on the board. When they are all grown up they realize the futility of the whole exercise and play pen-game, book cricket, WWF wrestling cards or sleep with their eyes wide awake. Do teachers involve students in any kind of activity that practically validates whatever they are learning from a text book? Does anyone take even an iota of effort to make learning a more enjoyable experience. It has happened once in my whole life. Thanks to Mrs. Kamleshwari, my geography teacher. She thought us about Africa by making us believe that she will be taking us on a field trip in a weeks time.She then asked us to prepare ourselves, take light clothes because Africa is really humid. The small details you know, it made me really want to learn more about the place.Hope she is still around making kids enjoy whatever they study.

All these factors, I think, has robbed the teaching profession of its charm, Whenever my dad recalls his Maths teacher (his name is Raayar Vaadiyar) he always has a smile on his face. Whenever I recall mine (very rarely, mostly its a bad dream caused due to indigestion)I wont remember their names, all I remember is their nick names which I would like to not disclose here, as this blog is certified as a PG-13 blog.We are producing teachers of mediocre standards. Face it, if you are teacher at Annai Mathamal Engineering college then you have taken it as a profession because you weren't able to get a job elsewhere.

We learn because we got to beat the neighbouring kid. Competition is really nice, it drives you to perform better. But the system we have now is unhealthy. Children develop performance anxiety. Parents have perfected the art of expecting their kids to be the next Einstein (I think they attend workshops like "How to be unreasonably over-expectant").

Okay before Karthik makes me realize that it is stupid to generalize. I would like to add a comment, if you really enjoyed/enjoy studying in the Indian educational system, I apologize for not being smart enough for missing out on the delicate intricacies of our educational set up.

Grrrrr...no point. I am happy that my cousin sis has withstood 6 years of it. I have prevailed and so will she.

Initiation

2005-09-15T13:31:00.000-04:00

I think I can now formally call myself a denizen of the consulting world. Two meetings, each lasting an hour and a half, punctuated by a lunch break and numerous coffee breaks to make me stay awake accounted for about half a work day.

The first meeting was with the Vice president of corporate strategy urging analysts to use a CRM software to help the sales team in their quest for closing deals. The VP was a heavy-set/friendly/humorous American who knew more Tamil than Ethiraj college girls. His talk was peppered by references to Rajnikanth (looks like he is a huge fan too), Anniyan, Sathyam Cineplex, Mayajaal and Star Wars. Huge movie freak and I guess now you know how much attention I paid to CRM. Really enjoyed the discussion on movies. I ended up strengthening his already strong Tamil vocabulary. He mentioned that he invariably ended up using dude at the end of every sentence.So I taught him Machaan and Maama. I was severely reprimanded by my Manager in the subsequent meeting (this one was on forecasting web hosted CRM's, talk about coincidences) for teaching him those words. Quite understable, many women would not like to be addressed Machaan and Maama by the VP.

Adidhadi Udhavara Maari Annan Thambinga Udhava Maatanga

2005-09-08T12:01:00.000-04:00

The caption for this post is a popular Tamil saying which translates into...

"A sound thrashing would probably be more useful than having brothers."

The following post is a 54 word short story. Just like my tagger, brevity is not my strong point.Anyway the following story is actually inspired from a true life story. No prizes for guessing whose life.

A non-smoker's story

"Have a cigarette man."

Rahul Chaturvedi turned down the generous offer and ran his palm over his left cheek.

About 16 years back a 4 foot Rahul bent down to pick up a half smoked Marlboro lying on the road. Mr.Chaturvedi slapped Rahul so hard that he fell face down on the platform.

The End

I tag Karthik, Radhika and PS to write a short story in less than 55 words. Good luck!

Good night America/ Good Morning India

2005-09-04T07:40:00.000-04:00

Hello All,
Its been a long absence (9 days to be precise)for me from the blogworld. I was strapped for time during the last 2 weeks and I am still strapped for time.After a lot of thought (don't be surprised, I can think) I have left the shores of America for the shores of Chennai.I made a brief stop over in Bahrain for a week to catch up with my parents. I have just started working in Chennai with a consulting firm.I hope the corporate world is going to be kind to me. Hope I have enough time to continue writing. I actually have ideas for a new story, so please continue to drop by.

Thanks
Kumar

PS: This btw is the 51st post, when I started writing the blog I thought I wouldn't be able to write 10.Surprises galore! I can think and write.

Two Cents of Hope

2005-08-25T02:37:00.000-04:00

If you are reading this blog you are priveleged. Okay, that was not a very nice way of putting it. The accent was on reading, a verb which is still not so common amongst the Indian kids.

I lived in the hostel while I was doing my bachelors degree from Vellore Institute of Technology. The hostel was habitable and the food was bearable. The mess employed kids aged between 10 and 15 years to serve food and clean the mess. The chancellor of the university, an ex-MP/minister, truly believed in educating the youth which was OBVIOUSLY the primary purpose for him to set up the university. 1000 students graduated every year so it didn't matter if there were about 30 uneducated kids slaving in the mess. Inorder to gain some you lose some. One of my friends who thankfuly didn't have the same ideologies as the chancellor took an effort to teach one of the kids basic mathematics and alphabets. The kid really took an effort to learn from my friend amidst the cleaning and serving he had to do to earn a living. It was nice to see the kid smile while learning. I should have probably followed suit but I didn't. If you have gone through something similar and you wished that you should have probably done something more then here is your chance.

A group of graduate students from North Carolina State University (my alma mater)have formed a non profit organization called "Two cents of hope" with the vision of forming a self sustaining society by providing education to the youth. Education in India has no doubt improved in the last few decades. But we still have a long way to go in our quest of being a fully developed and self sufficient nation. Overly qualified readers like you would obviously know the pivotal role of education in today's society. You can make a difference if you want to.Ideas, suggestions and donations are most welcome.